The Real Estate Developers Tale

Of sondry folk, by aventure yfalle. In felaweshipe, and pilgrimes were they alle, That toward caunterbury wolden ryde - Geoffry Chaucer

I was born in comfort and raised steeped in the sleazy art of backroom deals and hidden contract details

I learned well how to avoid small contractor liabilities thru costly litigation, unaffordable to them

When faced with uncomfortable facts, I knew I could angrily lie again regarding false statements I had made

My enemies were many and I made up insulting, teenage-style nicknames for them, one and all

I fraudulently avoided military service yet cloaked myself in a phony patriotism whenever it suited my needs

Sold myself as a bravely-independent entrepreneur as I greasily back-doored deals with greedy politicians

Constantly sought out the spotlight trying to fill the gaping maw of insecurity at my core

Thrived only due to my total inability to feel the effects of my self-serving actions upon any other people

I demanded absolute loyalty from my lieutenants but quickly heaped blame on them to clear myself

Still, often the filthy lackeys flipped on me with total lies just to save their own weak and stupid necks

But all the women loved me, so I grabbed them whenever and wherever and paid them off to shut up

I always made my deals with Other Peoples Money but took lots of profits, writeoffs and all of the publicity

I sold my gauche de-constructions built for the noveau riche as job creation and community development

I actually did not notice how often I immediately repeated whole sentences during my many tirades

I never had to apologize because, as it turned out, for my entire life I was never actually wrong

Looking back, I can honestly give myself an A+ in all aspects of my personal, public and business life

I sidestepped accusations by concocting explosively-false distractions to cover my own improprieties

I combined a ruthless vindictiveness with a long memory against those who dared raise my childish ire

I proclaimed myself a fount of unvarnished truth and labeled all stories unfavorable to me as evil fakes

I publicly declared myself a true genius, deserving of the adulation and adoration of all my little people

I was always at the center of the very Biggest, Greatest, Fantastic, Tremendous and Beautiful things ever

I never wasted time studying the details, for my gut instincts always guided me in the right direction

I found the vast majority of people, especially those who opposed me, to have really low IQs

I loved to be seen with the beautiful people enjoying the lifestyle of the rich and famous, with some bimbo

I lied spontaneously and guiltlessly and later smoothly denied and contradicted myself with further untruths

I found it necessary to hyperbolize myself as larger than life and to hyper-inflate my crooked deals

I attacked with a red-faced lying bluster those fools who dared contradict me in any way

I suffered a painful jealousy of those richer than me and savaged them with a loud & venal intensity

I found I simply had to inflate my monetary worth and therefore had to hide my real financial details

I found myself to be above, and secretly operated outside of, any laws my fixers were unable to skirt

I knew more than so-called experts and loudly spread that word as far and wide and as often as possible

None of my projects resulted in less than fantastic success and I always deserved and claimed all the credit

My lawyers ensured I never testified knowing, given all my lies, I could not help but clumsily perjure myself

I became an expert on any subject merely from two page summaries in large print with lots of pictures

I always began negotiations with impossible demands expressed in a harsh Take-It-Or-Leave-It fashion

I found that repeated bombastic claims made without evidence often enough produced the desired effect

I thrived creating raging, meaningless controversies by garbling the facts and repeating proven falsehoods

I could not speak without modifying terms like tremendous, and fantastic with the word very

I found my voice was especially attractive to the masses of frightened and ignorant lower class help

Yet, all alone, I found myself scared and insecure, starving for the spotlight and more fawning adulation

Oh, and I hired yet another fawning sycophant to write this story – but of course I take all the credit

I’ve only read a summary of it...

I was born in comfort and raised steeped in the sleazy art of backroom deals and hidden contract details

I learned well how to avoid small contractor liabilities thru costly litigation, unaffordable to them

When faced with uncomfortable facts, I knew I could angrily lie again regarding false statements I had made

My enemies were many and I made up insulting, teenage-style nicknames for them, one and all

I fraudulently avoided military service yet cloaked myself in a phony patriotism whenever it suited my needs

Sold myself as a bravely-independent entrepreneur as I greasily back-doored deals with greedy politicians

Constantly sought out the spotlight trying to fill the gaping maw of insecurity at my core

Thrived only due to my total inability to feel the effects of my self-serving actions upon any other people

I demanded absolute loyalty from my lieutenants but quickly heaped blame on them to clear myself

Still, often the filthy lackeys flipped on me with total lies just to save their own weak and stupid necks

But all the women loved me, so I grabbed them whenever and wherever and paid them off to shut up

I always made my deals with Other Peoples Money but took lots of profits, writeoffs and all of the publicity

I sold my gauche de-constructions built for the noveau riche as job creation and community development

I actually did not notice how often I immediately repeated whole sentences during my many tirades

I never had to apologize because, as it turned out, for my entire life I was never actually wrong

Looking back, I can honestly give myself an A+ in all aspects of my personal, public and business life

I sidestepped accusations by concocting explosively-false distractions to cover my own improprieties

I combined a ruthless vindictiveness with a long memory against those who dared raise my childish ire

I proclaimed myself a fount of unvarnished truth and labeled all stories unfavorable to me as evil fakes

I publicly declared myself a true genius, deserving of the adulation and adoration of all my little people

I was always at the center of the very Biggest, Greatest, Fantastic, Tremendous and Beautiful things ever

I never wasted time studying the details, for my gut instincts always guided me in the right direction

I found the vast majority of people, especially those who opposed me, to have really low IQs

I loved to be seen with the beautiful people enjoying the lifestyle of the rich and famous, with some bimbo

I lied spontaneously and guiltlessly and later smoothly denied and contradicted myself with further untruths

I found it necessary to hyperbolize myself as larger than life and to hyper-inflate my crooked deals

I attacked with a red-faced lying bluster those fools who dared contradict me in any way

I suffered a painful jealousy of those richer than me and savaged them with a loud & venal intensity

I found I simply had to inflate my monetary worth and therefore had to hide my real financial details

I found myself to be above, and secretly operated outside of, any laws my fixers were unable to skirt

I knew more than so-called experts and loudly spread that word as far and wide and as often as possible

None of my projects resulted in less than fantastic success and I always deserved and claimed all the credit

My lawyers ensured I never testified knowing, given all my lies, I could not help but clumsily perjure myself

I became an expert on any subject merely from two page summaries in large print with lots of pictures

I always began negotiations with impossible demands expressed in a harsh Take-It-Or-Leave-It fashion

I found that repeated bombastic claims made without evidence often enough produced the desired effect

I thrived creating raging, meaningless controversies by garbling the facts and repeating proven falsehoods

I could not speak without modifying terms like tremendous, and fantastic with the word very

I found my voice was especially attractive to the masses of frightened and ignorant lower class help

Yet, all alone, I found myself scared and insecure, starving for the spotlight and more fawning adulation

Oh, and I hired yet another fawning sycophant to write this story – but of course I take all the credit

I’ve only read a summary of it...